A Story About Connie

A Story About Connie

I was looking at an old high school roster today
Just passing some time
And I came across your name there
On about the 21^st line
And everybody's address was right there by their name
But next to yours, "Deceased" and
Again I felt the blame

Then I started thinking 'bout the way it used to be
We were just like sisters
Where there was you, there was me
I sat there with the memories as tears began to fall
Drifting into days gone by, I started to recall

For years we were inseparable, spent hours on the phone
You knew more about my heart than anyone's ever known
Then one day you called me and you sounded so confused
You wanted to come over, you said you had some news.

For years the doctors told you, no children would you bear
But somehow now it happened, and you talked of your despair
I couldn't hardly bear the look of sadness in your eyes
You were thinking of abortion and you asked for my advice

And there I sat a Christian and I did not hesitate
To tell you that a child is God's; you cannot contemplate
To end a life is murder and I hope you think this through
And quietly you listened to these words I said to you

And then one night the call came in, something's gone awry
Something bad has happened, they think that she might die
And on my way to get to you, I knew this couldn't be!
How could this have happened? You're only 33.

And as I watched you lying there, you looked into my eyes
You couldn't say a word instead, we both began to cry
I couldn't say I'm sorry though my heart was crying out
Was on that day you taught me what true friendship's all about.

Two days more I went to you and stood there by your side
As those who loved you gathered, in hopelessness they cried
They weren't supposed to let me in, I wasn't family
But they told me you would not respond to anyone but me

It was then I knew you understood, I had no way to know
That bringing life would also mean, another life would go
And as I held your hand that day, I knew that you were leaving
I thought I felt the angels as you lay there hardly breathing

So standing at your casket, I whispered to your spirit
I knew that you were listening, I knew that you could hear it
I begged you for forgiveness, and I wondered if you knew
I never would've said those things, knowing I'd lose you

So many times I wonder now, just who the hell was I?
It's just not my decision who should live and who should die
So now I choose with caution, the things I have to say
Sometimes the cost for words is just a price too high to pay